Aboki wani mutum ne majibincin rayuwar dan uwansa. wato aboki shi ne wani mutum da zuciyarka da tunaninka ya zo daya da nasa, kamar yadda Hausawa kance sai hali ya zo daya sannan ake abokantaka. Haka kuma, malamai masana nazariyyar dan adam sun ta yin binciken shin wane aboki. kamar yadda Allen 1996 yake cewa " dole ne kayi wa kanka tambaya kafin ka zabi aboki" yace dole ne mutum ya yiwa kansa tambayoyi kamar haka: Shin wane ni? wa nake bukata ya zama abokina? Me yasa nake son wane ya kasance tare da ni? da wasu tambayoyin daban. ta hanyar samun amsoshin wadan nan tambayoyi ne zaka gane mutanan da kake bukata a rayuwarka da kuma mutanan da suke bukatarka a rayuwa.
Hakika acikin wannan rayuwa, zaiyi wahala ka samu wanda yake rayuwa shi kadai ba tare da taimakon abokansa ba, wato abin da ake kira (Recleus Life), abokanai suna da matukar muhimmanci tare kuma da tasiri a rayuwa, domin sune sukan taimakamaka wajen yanke hukuncin tunaninka, da kuma tayaka hangen abinda ya kamace ka. lallai duk wanda yake rayuwa ba tare da samun goyon bayan abokansa ba to yana da babban gibi a cikin rayuwa, domin akwai al'amura da yawan gaske wadan da bazaka iya yin maganarsu da iyayanka ko matarka ko kanneka ba dole sai da abokai. Shakka babu yanayinka yanayin abokanka, kamar yadda Allen ya fada, idan kayi sa'a kai mutumin kirki ne to da wahala ka samu abokanka mutanan banza, don haka zasu taimaka maka da muhimman shawarwari wajen yanke hukunci a rayuwa.
Sauda yawa abokai sukanyi tasiri sosai azukatan abokansu sama da iyaye. wannan yana faruwane musamman a wannan zamanin ta yadda ake kara samun gibi mai yawa tsakanin iyaye da 'ya 'yansu, wasu iyayan tsakaninsu da 'ya 'yansu maganganu ne takaitattu, basu ko san halin da 'ya 'yansu suke ciki ba, basa shawara da su, don haka dole ne su kuma 'ya 'ya su cike wannan gurbi da abokansu, wadanda sau da yawa sune suke dauke musu kewar rayuwa. Musamman 'yan uwanmu mata sunfi fadawa cikin wannan yanayi ta yadda zakaga mace a gidansu ba'a damu da ita ba, ba'a neman shawararta, kaga yarinya ta balaga, amma ubanta baisan ya takeyi da kayan amfani na yau da kullum ba, kamar audugar mata, kayan kwalliya, sau da yawa iyaye maza, zaka samu wani uban baitaba sayawa 'yarsa kayan kwalliya ba kuma bai taba bata kudi ta saya ba, ita kuma uwarta sai ka samu tana kunyar tayi magana da ita akan musamman abin da ya shafi al'ada, yarinya sai ta fara al'ada har ta gama babu wanda ya sani tsakanin iyayanta tana ta kunzugu da tsummokara, sai dai idan ta hadu da kawayanta su tattauna.
Ta ya ya ake iya samun abokai? Hakika wannan tambaya tana da matukar muhimmanci kwarai, domin kamar yadda mukayi bayani a sama cewa aboki majibincin lamarin abokinsa ne, kuma rayuwa bata yiwuwa sai da abokai. Kamar yadda muka sani a da can kakanninmu da kakannin kakanninmu rayuwarsu batyi fadiba kamar tamu. Hakika a wancan lokacin abokai basu da yawa domin galibi idan ka duba rayuwarsu zaka samu, galibi mutanan kauye daya ko gari daya kai koma unguwa daya ne ke abokantaka. Saboda karancin rashin sadarwa ko kuma "wayewa" irin ta zamani. A wancan lokacin hanyoyin da ake bi wajen samun abokai sun hada da Dandali, wato samari maza da mata kan hadu a dandali domin tattaunawa da sada zumunci tsakaninsu da kuma nishadi, ananne ake haduwa tsakanin 'yan waccan unguwar da wannan unguwar don kulla zumunci; Daga nan kuma sai makarantar Allo inda zaka samu mafiya yawanci yaran unguwa daya kanyi karatu a hannun malamai guda, hana rantsuwa sai yaran da ake dauka ake kaisu wasu garuruwan domin neman ilimin al-qurani, wannan ta baiwa wasu da yawa dama wajen samun abokai wadan da suke da al'adu da suka sha bamban da nasu, misali, a makarantar allo daya zaka iske yara daga kasar sokoto ko daga kasar Gongola ko kano ko zariya da sauransu duk suna karatun allo tare a wancan lokaci.
Har ila yau, wata hanya ta samun abokai cikin sauki, itace matarantar boko. Hakika, wannan tana daga cikin damarmaki na farko-farko na samun abokai da suka sha bamban da wanda akeyi tsakanin al-majirai, domin zaka samu wannan yara ne kowa ya sa kayansa fes-fes sabanin makarantar allo da yare ke zama da datti, haka abin kan ci gaba har zuwa makarantun gaba da firamare wato sakandare, wanda wannan abokantaka itace tafi kowacce dorewa a wannan zamani, domin zaka samu galibin abokai na sakandare basu cika sakaci da wannan abokantaka tasu ba ko da kuwa sun kammala makaranta, musamman wadan da sukayi makarantun kwana, shi yasa, yanzu zakaji kungiyoyin tsaffin dalibai kamar Barewa Kwalej Zariya da sauransu .
Akwai aboki daya amsa sunan aboki, wanda idan baka ganshi ba kwana biyu zaka ji dalili; sannan akwai wanda ake kira da turanci (Acquaintance) wato shima abokine amma bana kusa ba, misali wanda kuke haduwa dashi a makaranta, idan ka ganshi kukan gaisa, idan kuma baka ganshiba bazaka damuba haka shima bazai damuba. Akwai bambanci mai yawa tsakanin Aboki na kusa da na nesa (Friends da Acquaintance).
Baya ga wadancan hanyoyi na makaranta da ake iya samun abokai, ana iya samun abokai ta hanyar kasuwa, ko wajen aiki. Itama wannan wata muhimmiyar hanya ce ta samun abokai majibinta sashe, suma sukan taka muhimmiyar rawa sosai a rayuwar mutum, ta yadda zakaga ana samun karuwar alaka da dangantaka sosai tsakanin abokan kasuwa dana wajen aiki.
Wata hanya mafi Sauki da zamani yazo da ita ta samun abokai itace ta hanyar Sadarwa. Hakika wannan hanya ta sadarwa (Social Network) ta zo da abubuwa masu saukin gaske, kusan itace hanya mafi sauki da zaka fahimci kanka da kuma abokan mu'amalarka, Kana dakinka a zaune zaka iya Magana da mutumin da yake a can wata kasa mai nisan gaske, kuma ya zama abokinka sosai kamar kun tashi tun yarinta, bayan kuma watakila bai taba ganinka ba kaima baka taba ganinsa ba, wannan hanya itace ta zaurukan tattaunawa da musayar ra'ayi kamarsu Fesbuk da Twitter da Friends Reunited da Classmate da sauransu. Bayan wannan kuma akwai wata hanyar ta amfani da wayar hannu, musamman wadanda suke amfani da wayoyin Blackberry, da dangoginta, da kuma damar da kamfanonin sadarwa suke bayarwa ta amfani da tsarin tura gajeren sakon SMS da kuma tura sakonnin hotuna daskararru da masu motsi, da kuma tsarin shiga dakin hira da abokanai wato Chart Room. Akwai hanyoyi da daman gaske kusan kullum ana kara samun wasu sabbin hanyoyi na kulla alaka da zumunta tsakanin abokanai a Internet.
Muhimmancin abokantaka ta Internet: Wannan hanya ba karamin saukakewa mutane abubuwa da dama tayi ba, domin mutumin da kake ganinsa daga nesa ya yi maka nisa sosai, amma sai kaga cikin arha gashi kana Magana dashi yana mayarmaka, misali wannan hanya ta sadarda shugabanni da talakawa, ta yadda zakaga Gwamna ko shugaban kasa yana musayar kalamai da talakawa wanda ko kusa a zahiri hakan zata zama da kamar wuya. Wannan hanya tana da muhimmanci sosai, zata bata damar sanin al'adun wasu mutanan, misali zaka samu Bakano da Bazazzage da Bahadeje da Baktsine an hadu anata barkwanci, wannan yakan baka damar fahimtar wasu abubuwa da dama da baka sansu ba. Wannan tsari na abokantaka yana kaiwa harga abokantaka ta zahiri, inda ake haduwa a wasu kebantattun lokuta domin ganin juna da kara dankon zumunci
Abokankatar Internet Gaskiya ce kuwa? Shakka babu wannan abokantaka akwai yaudara a cikinta sosai da gaske, domin idan ka shiga bayanan wasu da suke sanyawa sai ka kasa fahimtar su waye su? Wani lokacinma kakan kasa bambance tsakanin mace da namiji, sai kaji wani ya yi amfani da wasu irin sunaye wadan da ba ma'arufai ba. Sannan wannan abokantaka takan zama gaskiya ya yin da ka hadu da mutumin da kake abokantaka dashi a zahiri, kuma akan samu shakuwa ta karu sosai, fiye da abokanka na kuruciya, Misali akwai abokina da muka jima tare dashi a wannan kafa ta sadarwa, wata rana kwatsam na niki gari nace zan kawo masa ziyara, inda na taka har inda yake a cikin Jami'ar Ahmadu Bello dake zariya, wannan ya kara karfin alaka sosai tsakanina dashi, haka nima nakan samu mutane da yawa wadan da suke zuwa takanas ta kano domin kawomin ziyara kasancewar mundade da sanin juna ta wannan hanya, hakika wannan wata muhimmiyar kaface da mutum zai samu mutane daga gurare daban daban a wannan duniya.
Matsalar Abokantaka: Mutane sukan kaunaceka saboda kabiyo hanyar da zasu kaunaceka. Yana da kyau mutane su sani gaskiyarka itace babbar damarka ta samun masoya na hakika, wasu da yawa sukan yi karya mara misaltuwa a wannan hanya, misali, wani zai ringa nuna maka shi mai arziki ne, alhali kuma ba haka abin yake ba, ko kuma wani ya nuna maka shifa a Abuja yake rayuwa inda yake kashe kudi masu yawa, kaga duk wadan nan matsaloli ne da idan ta bayyana ga yadda zahirin mutum yake sai kaga anji kunya, a har kullum abin da nayi imani dashi shi ne duk wanda zanso ina soshi ne don Allah haka kuma, duk wanda zanki zanki shi ne saboda Allah, bawai saboda wani abin duniya ba. Mallam Sa'adu Zungur acikin wakarsa ta Arewa Jamhuriyya ko Mulukiyya yana cewa "inzaka fadi fadi gaskiya komai taka jamaka . . .! Ina fatan Alheri ga 'yan uwa abokai na hakika, kuma ina fatan saduwa da dukkan abokaina wadan da muke soyayya don Allah. Allah ya sadamu da alherinsa
Yasir Ramadan Gwale
yasirramadangwale@gmail.com
http://yasirramadangwale.blogspot.com
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